St Augustine's, Dumbarton - Scottish Episcopal Church


Smile in the Face of Swine Flu

From Janette:

PROTECTING YOUR PARISH WITH SACRAJEL’

Swine Flu fears gripped St. Auggie’s on 26th July when a warning from the C of E Bishops was conveyed to the congregation. Precautions such as behaviour at the Peace and hand cleansing by everyone at the altar were resurrected from the days when congregations were threatened by the Black Death. A quantity of antiseptic gel was quickly procured by Roberta from the Pound Shop and the Eucharist progressed pretty much as usual apart from those who wanted to monitor Colleen’s cough!

Kenny, always the entrepreneur, saw opportunity in the gel and also in the dispensing of the stuff. Since no such product specifically existed for use on the altar perhaps one could be appropriately constituted with a special liturgical flavour.

How about calling it SACRAJEL’ and launching a world wide advertising campaign?

The Parish is so fit and well

Our Rector uses ‘Sacrajel’

Sin and germs he can dispel

A miracle is ‘Sacrajel!’

And ,of course, we could link it to our forthcoming LYCIG project to bring lapsed members back to church:

Come share our antiseptic smell

The stuff is anti sin as well,

Sending swine flu straight to hell

Be good or you will go as well!

We could brew up the gel in our new hall kitchen and Ghislaine and Teabag O’Neill could bottle it for export – it would certainly keep them from gossiping! OK, Kenny, let’s get it up and running before Sir Alan grabs it!

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